The Power of a YES Filter: Finding Margin, Peace, and Purpose
Do you feel fulfilled and at peace today?
My hope is that your answer is yes. But for so many of us, one key thing keeps peace at arm’s length: we’re busy instead of purposed.
Our time gets filled up instead of being lived with margin, or what I like to call, cushion. And even if we were given an extra day in our week, we already know what would happen. We wouldn’t protect it… we’d fill it.
When Busyness Replaces Purpose
Living busy happens when too much is shoved into too little time. But the real issue isn’t time itself. It’s what we say “yes” to.
When we stop being mindful about our yes, everything becomes important. And suddenly we’re overwhelmed, overextended, and off course. A friend of mine once said, “Too many priorities means no priorities.” It’s true.
We slide into the passenger seat of our own lives, letting schedules, requests, and expectations dictate our days. Peace slips away when we say yes just to please others, instead of asking whether it pleases God (Colossians 3:23).
Scripture challenges us:
“Let your ‘yes’ be yes and your ‘no’ be no” (Matthew 5:37).
Integrity means honoring our yes, but it also means only saying yes to what truly matters.
The Rocks and Sand of Your Time
There’s a popular analogy involving a tall glass vase.
If you pour in sand first (represents saying yes to everyone and everything) there’s no room left for the rocks, your true priorities.
But if the rocks go in first, everything else has to fit around them.
The rocks are your yeses. And, they should be anchored to what God inspires, not simply what others expect.
Move From an Automatic Yes to a YES Filter
Instead of reacting with an automatic yes, we can create a YES Filter. A simple decision-making guide that keeps our choices aligned with what matters most.
Every time someone asks, “Can you help with this?” (or some other request for your time) we pause and ask:
Does this honor my YES Filter?
Is this a yes right now?
Is this a yes, but later?
Is this a no for now or forever?
This next part is important enough to read twice:
You don’t have to be busy to say no. You don’t need an excuse.
No is allowed, especially to protect margin, rest, mental space, and the ability to say yes to what truly matters.
At Breakthrough To Purpose, we have a saying: Hurt heals, and disappointment fades.
If someone says they’re hurt by your no, it’s okay—because they will heal. And if they’re disappointed, that too will fade.
It’s important to remember that hurt and disappointment are not the same as harm.
“Hurt” and “disappointment” are temporary feelings of pain or emotional discomfort, while “harm” refers to lasting damage or injury.
Over the course of your life, you will inevitably hurt or disappoint people simply by making choices that honor your priorities. Ironically, trying to avoid hurting or disappointing others usually leads to overcommitment. And, when you drop balls, miss deadlines, or fail to meet expectations, that still ends in hurt and disappointment.
If you never identify what is important to you (how you want to spend your time and who you want to spend it with), busyness will always win. You’ll remain drained, scattered, and frustrated… and you may miss the meaningful moments God intends for you.
But when you build your Yes Filter, you experience more fulfillment because your time reflects what God has placed on your heart. And you cultivate more peace because your life begins to align with His design.
5 Steps to Build Your Yes Filter
Get in a life-giving space.
A favorite chair. A nature trail. A bench by the lake. Somewhere peaceful.Ask yourself:
If I only had one month to live…Who would I spend my time with?
What passion would I pursue?
What message would I want to convey?
What would I do less of?
What would I do more of?
Where would I spend more time?
Write down five non-negotiable priorities.
These might be people, passions, values, places, or disciplines.
This becomes your Yes Filter!Compare your priorities to your current schedule.
Highlight anything that doesn’t clear your Yes Filter.Start adjusting how you spend your time.
Begin shifting how you spend your time.
Be Patient With the Process
Shifting from an automatic yes to the Yes Filter isn’t instant. It may feel uncomfortable at first. Let me give you a heads up about some things you won’t like but that you will almost assuredly run into:
You may disappoint people with new boundaries.
You may finish commitments you said yes to out of guilt, even if they don’t pass your Yes Filter.
You may find yourself with open space you’re not used to having.
Be patient with all of it.
As you lean into God and begin prioritizing the important things He has laid on your heart, He will guide you with His peace and lead you into deeper fulfillment, one intentional yes at a time.
Additional Resources You Might Find Helpful
