From Passenger to Driver: How Christians Move From Hope Deferred to Living with Purpose
Many Christians today quietly carry hope deferred—the experience of feeling stuck, delayed, or held back in life. They aren’t hopeless, but their hope has been stretched thin. They’re tired of waiting. They’re discouraged by lack of progress. They wonder if anything will ever change.
Proverbs 13:12 reminds us:
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
That “heart-sick” feeling is real, and for many of us, it follows us for years before we ever name it.
I lived in that place for more than three decades.
For the first 32 years of my life, I operated in quiet survival mode. My sense of security depended on keeping other people happy. I shaped my life around their expectations, adapting, accommodating, and agreeing even when it meant silencing my own desires. I stayed productive, and I had friendships, but I lived small. Being invisible felt safer than being truly seen.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was living in the passenger seat of my own life.
What Life in the Passenger Seat Looks Like
If you’ve ever felt stuck, frustrated, or disconnected from your purpose, you may know this feeling too. Life in the passenger seat often shows up as:
Living reactively rather than intentionally
Observing instead of participating
Doing what others think you “should” do
Staying silent to keep the peace
Waiting for permission to act
Pulling away or getting defensive
Carrying a constant low hum of frustration
Numbing out with busyness, TV, or endless scrolling
It’s a painful place to stay, but you don’t have to stay there. God invites us to get into the driver’s seat of our lives and steer in His direction.
The Awakening That Changed Everything
In my mid-30s, something in me began to shift. My desire for purpose (my God-given purpose) became too strong to ignore. Every six months or so, I would find myself in tears, overwhelmed by frustration and longing for more. So much more.
Then one conversation changed the trajectory of my life.
A trusted leader said to me:
“When I think of people with great, underutilized potential, I think of you. You seem to be waiting for someone to find a great fit for you. No one is going to do that for you. It’s up to you to find your purpose.”
In that moment, I felt myself finally move from the passenger seat into the driver’s seat. I realized it was my responsibility to align my life with God’s design, not wait for someone else to steer it.
Choosing to Lead Your Life With Purpose
I started small. I made a list of five things I truly wanted in life. Then I committed to living in a way that reflected those desires every day. I even asked a friend to tell me in six months what she believed my top priorities were. I wanted my lived life to speak for me, not just my words.
And as I pursued what God placed in my heart, everything began to change.
Here’s what life looks like when you’re finally in the driver’s seat:
Engaging proactively instead of reacting
Speaking up about what you need and want
Making decisions without constant hesitation
Approaching conflict as a peacemaker, not an avoider
Saying “no” when your soul needs space
Feeling comfortable in your own skin
Letting go of the pressure to prove yourself
Dreaming again instead of numbing out
Building healthier, more meaningful relationships
Experiencing joy, growth, opportunity, and purpose
Investing in others from a place of wholeness
This is the transformation so many people find through Christian life coaching. We help people who are ready for change move from stuck to purposeful, from reactive to intentional, from hope deferred to hope renewed.
4 Simple Steps to Move Into the Driver’s Seat
If you feel stuck or frustrated with your pace of growth, here’s a small but powerful way to begin:
Think of one choice you made last week that went against what you really wanted.
Remember how you felt in the moment.
This week, do the very thing you avoided.
Reflect on how you feel afterward.
Go back and order the sweet potato fries instead of the plain ones. Share your opinion on that thing you were asked about but stayed silent. Take the walk you skipped to tend to someone else’s need. (Even if it’s just 5 minutes.) Let them wait two minutes while you pick up that clutter that’s driving you crazy. Tell that person how their words affected you instead of brushing it off.
These small acts build courage, clarity, and confidence one choice at a time.
You Don’t Belong in the Passenger Seat
Once you taste life in the driver’s seat, you’ll never want to go back. You were created for purpose, intention, and impact. With God’s guidance, you can reclaim your identity, step into courage, and start steering your life toward the future He’s calling you into.
If I can do it, I know you can too.
Take Your Next Steps to Getting in the Driver’s Seat
If something in this post stirred your desire for more, that’s God’s invitation to take the next step. Start Here to learn how coaching can support your growth and help you live with purpose.
Want something you can use right now? Grab our free PDF, A Framework for Getting Unstuck, and begin building momentum today.
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